The thing is, relationship goals can be great - if they help you aim for what you really want and need from a partner. In fact, they had led her to reject great potential partners for years! Her relationship goals, he said, set the bar way too high.

On top of all that, he had to come from a two-parent home – a requirement that eliminates about a third of the population!Īs the requirements piled up, the author struggled to keep a straight face. Sarah saw herself marrying a successful business owner, one who was also a preacher and funny and athletic. She replied with a long, long list of requirements. On one occasion, the author asked Sarah whether she had a clear idea about what kind of man she wanted to meet. This concerned her, and she’d often chat with the author about her relationship problems. Long past the age by which she’d thought she’d be married, Sarah was still single. This was the case for Sarah, a member of the congregation at Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where the author is a pastor. They reflect what we want and desire from a partner, rather than what we actually need. Often, our ideas about what makes a perfect partner are based on superficial things like looks, career, or a person’s financial situation.

The key message here is: Above all, relationship goals have to be realistic. As a result, we have unrealistic expectations about what kind of partners we should be looking for. Magazines, newspapers, and TV shows sell us an illusion of “perfect” relationships that we all buy into. Therefore, they’re not realistic relationship goals. They emphasize all the good things and exclude all the bad. But here’s the problem: these images are only snapshots of relationships. These images represent modern relationship ideals. We’ve all seen them – images of happy pairs posing in clubs, kissing on the beach, or cuddled up in bed next to a caption reading #relationshipgoals. If you’re active on social media, you’re probably inundated with pictures of perfect-looking couples.

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